Time Immortal

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t get what Ghazale, a Canadian Middle Eastern restaurant, is trying to tell us with their latest marketing campaign.

If it’s supposed to be funny, I’m not getting the joke. If it’s supposed to be progressive and edgy, I think it misses the mark. If it’s supposed to dispel any illusions I might have about Middle Eastern culture in general, and the attitudes of Arabs toward women in particular, it’s having the opposite effect.

(In Soviet Russia, hat tips you: Kathy Shaidle

Lisa writes in with a question. I can only presume that she was reading this article, and I have to confess no small measure of amusement that such an old piece of content is only now generating a response.

But hey, I aim to help, and I’ll gladly play the role of tour guide for a bit.

Hi. My cousin just moved to Edmonton and mentioned that he hadn’t been able to find a place that had flavoured chicken wings (just mild, med and hot). I told I would see if I could look up something and noticed you had mentioned an Edmonton bar that has 36 wing flavours. Could you share what bar this is? Thanks.

I do hope I got the number right (there is always the possibility that my memory will not report everything…accurately…), but there was (at the time that I wrote that article) a bar in Edmonton that had 30 or more wing flavours. It’s been a while since I’ve looked in on said place, so I can’t say with certainty whether or not it still features such an impressive array. Working on the assumption that it does, however, the place in question is called The Globe. It is located on the south-west corner of the intersection of Jasper (101st) Avenue and 109th Street, in downtown Edmonton.

Here’s the map:

And here’s the logo he should look for:

Please note, O Reader, that Google’s address finding feature is not the most accurate — in this case, it has situated the address a bit south of where the building actually is (to say nothing of putting the placemark in the middle of 109th Street).

Hope that helps, Lisa! If not, there are a couple of other places in Edmonton that offer a bit more than just the mild/medium/hot flavour selection. My wife and I often meet her sister for wings at Chili’s off of Whyte Avenue, and the wings at Hudson’s aren’t bad either. Hudson’s, in particular, has a wider range of flavours than just three.

Update: I’m stupid, and the logo should be displaying correctly now.

…but this was too novel to pass up passing on.

Season Shot is a revolutionary new form of ammunition invented by Brett Holm in 2005. Along with David Feig, Brett formed Season Shot Inc. to market and sell this ammo to hunters everywhere. Brett and David desire to see hunters get the most out of their experience and to see our environment recieve the care it deserves. Read how this idea was formed below.

I like how, in the list of reasons why you should use Season Shot, the first reason is “Our ammo has flavor.”

(In Soviet Russia, hat tips you: Sondra K)

I could be convinced, given the evidence below, that taking one’s kids to McDonald’s should be considered a form of child abuse.

Drink your heart out, Christopher Hitchens. At least I won’t give my kids heart and liver diseases by taking them to Mass.

(In Soviet Russia, hat tips you: Sondra K)

I laughed. In fact, I think I hurt something.

9 most notorious pizza toppings / imperialist endeavors

1. Canadian bacon
2. salmon eggs
3. (tie) spinach / Benjamin Disraeli’s thieving opportunism in acquiring the Suez canal from indebted Egyptian leader Ismail (1875)
4. ground beef
5. (tie) British colonial rule in Ireland and India, as analyzed by Marx in Das Capital; Lenin, Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism (1916); anchovies
6. ham and pineapple
7. meatballs
8. The McKinley Tariff (1890)
9. (tie) US in Iraq under George W. Bush; southwestern chicken

Courtesy of the strange minds at Protein Wisdom.

Grace asked me recently, as she has a couple times before, what is is about wings that guys find so appealing. What she means is, of course, not “wings” as might appear on the back of a person in an illustration of an angel but instead “wings” as might appear skathered in hot-sauce in a small, paper-lined bowl from the kitchen of some bar. That’s right…chicken wings, that omnipresent snack-food.

It’s a good question. What is it about wings that most people, especially guys, like so much? I don’t imagine that the average guy thinks about it much…to the average bar-goer, a wing is a tasty snack and little more.

But is there something more to it? It seems to me that there are five main reasons.

1. Size

Wings are small. At the same time, wings (being meat) are filling for their size. When eating at a bar, food that is small but filling is something of an ideal.

Wings are small enough that one can be eaten quickly, before the taste of one’s last sip of beer has totally faded and needs to be replaced by another sip. And wings are filling enough that they give the placebo effect that often comes with knowing that a full belly means it takes one longer to get fall-down drunk.

2. Broad Appeal

These are chicken wings we’re talking about, after all. Chicken. When it comes to chicken, there are really only two types of chicken-eaters: those who like white meat, and those who like dark meat. Oh, there are people who like both types of course, but even they typically have their preference. Mine, for instance, is dark meat, especially that of the thigh. Grace prefers the drumstick. My sister Megan will refuse all other pieces of the chicken if white breast meat is available.

Wings have broad appeal because then, because they have two components, the winglet and the drumlet. Technically there’s also the tip, but I’ve never been to a bar that serves the tip.

The winglet typically has darker meat, while the drumlet typically has whiter meat. Therefore, wings have broader appeal than other cuts of chicken that might be snacked on. And in the rare instance that two good friends, one who passionately dislikes white meat and the other who passionaltely dislikes dark meat, sit down and order snacks at a bar, the ordering of wings should appeal sufficiently to both parties as to not dissolve the friendship.

And if one of them happens to be vegetarian, that is why most wing orders also come with carrots, celery, and dip.

3. It’s meat

With the obvious exception of vegetarians, there is a further appeal of wings, especially to the male mind: they are made up of meat. Enough said.

4. Flavours

One bar in Edmonton boasts 36 wing flavours, and it’s easy for the average person to take a minute and think of 6 wing flavours off the top of their head:

• Plain
• Salt & Pepper
• Barbecque
• Teriyaki
• Hot
• Honey-Garlic

More exotic flavours exist, of course, and almost all of them have a great taste all their own. Oh, some varieties of hot wing are all about the burn and have nothing in the way of acual flavour, but hey…some people just want to burn, so that’s legitimate. The point is, wings are a great medium through which to try a variety of different flavours of sauce, many of which will also taste good on other things…

…like, for example, teriyaki sauce on steak.

5. Competition

Not every guy will eat wings for this purpose, but occasionally two (or more) guys will sit down over a massive bowl of wings and attempt to determine which one is more virile than the other (at least that would be my explanation for it, because we all know that one’s virility is directly proportional to the number of chickens we can indirectly render even more incapable of flight!) based on the sheer quantity of (usually spicy-hot) wings consumed.

So there it is…the five major reasons why guys like wings. Now when Grace asks me, I’ll know what to reply with.

Maybe I should condense it, though.